Episode 1: The Saga Begins

tom hanks

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As I am writing this it’s 11am and i’m in a Starbucks with a laptop which is quickly losing charge and what I excitedly mistook to be Alanis Morissette playing over the cafe speakers. Speaking of Alanis Morissette, I don’t think I have ever met a cis straight dude who likes her music, yet nearly every woman I know has some place in their heart for her high emotion angry girl music. Like that scene at the beginning of Lady Bird where Christine is playing Hand In My Pocket for her Dad in the car and she kind of gushes over it but her Dad is fully unimpressed. That is pretty much the same as every interaction I have had with most guys when Alanis is brought up. I think maybe they think we don’t know it’s over emotional and that her voice is sort of grating and her lyrics don’t always work and she has a pretentious air. But we do. It’s just that we don’t care and we fucking love her for it. Or at least, we love 90’s Alanis for it. Because who likes any of her recent-ish music? Alanis Morissette has greasy hair and she’s loud and embarrassingly emotional and she’s angry and tries a bit hard sometimes. And it’s great because, yeah, me too! I dunno, It’s hard to explain exactly what it is that makes her so appealing to certain people and so unappealing to others (namely cis straight dudes). Like the song You Oughta Know, for example. When I listen to it with my non cis straight dude friends (aka pretty much all of my friends) we yell the lyrics and laugh and throw ourselves about in a mosh like celebration of this vicious break up anthem. We recognise the rage and the manic grief she (without one bit of subtlety) expresses and we embrace it. Maybe so many men don’t feel the way we do about her music due to some little nugget of toxic masculinity in their brains telling them they can’t express their emotions in such an honest and embarrassing way. Or maybe its the usual trend of anything that teenage girls like immediately being categorised as completely stupid and frivolous and dumb, just like teenage girls. You can see it in the way men often react when they hear some vaguely popular female musician put out music they actually like. “I heard that song by (insert female artist here) on the radio the other day, it was actually quite good, like, she isn’t just writing those boring run of the mill girl power songs like that other popular one she did. I mean it’s still just pop music but that baseline was actually pretty cool, and her voice is better when she doesn’t yell. I mean I’m not her biggest fan now or anything, I’m not a 13 year old girl for fucks sake.”. I mean, why not just say you like it? But nah, you gotta rationalise why you like it with some vague comment about ‘musical stylings’ or something. Why shit on the stuff you like? Oh shit this Starbucks is playing Sky Full Of Song by Florence and the Machine, what a fucking move. Whoever made this sick playlist also played some Rumors era Fleetwood Mac which makes me trust them but I also suspect that this is some kind of corporate ruse to make me trust the shitty company I am currently paying so I can procrastinate doing actual work by writing this disorganised mess of a blog post. Anyway, what I’m saying is that men need to get it together and that maybe they’d be less repressed and shitty all the time if they listened to Melodrama by Lorde – now on iTunes.melodrama


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